Letter to an Apostle

What were those three days like, Peter?

What was it like to reject your Lord, and then to watch Him suffer and die? Did you wish for the same darkness that swallowed Him to swallow you, as well? Was there something missing when you gathered with the other apostles for meals? Two spots left empty, when the table had been full just before.

What felt worse, the grief or the guilt? Could you even distinguish between the two?

How did it feel, Peter, to walk with Jesus once more after believing He had died?

How did it feel to have all your hope resurrected once again, to be with your companion, friend, and Savior after you thought He had been ripped away?

Tell me, what was it like to eat meals and break bread with Him again, after wandering in darkness without Him for three days? Salvation restored, living and breathing with you once more.

How did it feel to sit by His side and hear His teachings once again? The greatest miracle of all — He had conquered death itself and been restored to you.

How did it feel when He departed again?

What was it like, in that transitory period, where you had neither Jesus nor the Holy Spirit?

Did you feel lonely, despite the hope that had come and the gospel that you were going to proclaim? Did you wonder how you would be able to choke out the good news, and love the very neighbors that had slaughtered your friend and Salvation?

When the Holy Spirit filled you, did you finally feel whole again? Or did the grief linger? Did it compensate for the loss of the physical, Human embodiment of Jesus?

Or did it still feel like something was missing?