Ignored

I thought we were doing better. I thought I was doing better. We had talked earlier that evening, and you had even offered to walk me home the night before. I hadn’t accepted, but the gesture still meant something to me.

Being friends with you is so easy, but so difficult at the same time. You are a pendulum, swinging between excessively friendly and strangely indifferent. Sometimes, you’ll see me and yell my name with a beaming smile on your face, and other times, you’ll make direct eye contact with me and continue with whatever you were doing without any hint of acknowledgement. I want to be frustrated enough to just ignore you until you show some sense of consistency in our friendship, but being around you is too easy when you’re on the better side of the pendulum.

I don’t know what it is about you that sends my emotions into complete and utter turmoil, but to be completely honest, it pisses me off. I am not usually an emotional basket case of a human being, and I don’t like becoming one. Besides, I thought I had moved past that. Hanging out with you had become easy. We were friends, and it was as simple as that.

So, pray tell, when you walked past me last night at 11:17 P.M. and didn’t bother to say hi, why did it feel like I had taken a blow to the ribs?

When you kept walking, without a hint of a smile or even the slightest of nods, why did it hurt so much?