‘Boys Will Be Boys’

The power went out the other night.

I’m not sure what your list of “places I wouldn’t want to be during a power outage” would look like, dear reader, but the first place on top of my list is a freshman dorm.

Thankfully, I wasn’t in one (but I could still hear the screams from over 100 yards away). One of my roommates, however, was lucky enough to be in the lobby of a freshman dorm when the world went dark and they were left only with their phone flashlights and the eerie howling of the wind outside. Naturally, hell (in the form of female tears and male hollering) broke loose.

I could only hear the crunchy echoes of these phenomena through my phone as I updated my roommate on our situation: “yes, we’re safe, but the fire alarm is going off next door, and no one is coming out…. I can’t tell if he’s actually in danger or if the power going out just triggered the alarm for no good reason.”

As the different members of our apartment complex emerged, summoned by the screech of the fire alarm, the boys downstairs yelled up at us: “do you need flashlights? We’re going to buy some more!” We said yes, and they scurried off into the mess of wind, flying branches, pinecones, and darkness. Perhaps not the wisest decision, but…well, boys will be boys.

Later, when my other roommate returned from taming the chaos of a powerless freshman dorm, the first thing out of her mouth was, “you will not believe what the boys on the first floor did as soon as the power went out.” My first response was anxiety: did they break COVID protocols? Sneak into the girls’ side of the building? Did they hurt anyone?

No. Instead, they all ran to their communal bathroom (with their masks on and everything) to see if they could pee in the dark and still make it into the urinal. Boys will be boys, I guess (though I don’t want to even think about what the clean-up of that was like once the lights came back on).

These are the kinds of stories that should be followed by “boys will be boys.” Not the one where a man in his 30s calls me “doll face” or nearly grabs my ass when “reaching for something else.” Boys will be boys, dear reader, when doing something reckless or wild that doesn’t have harmful consequences for anyone else. When they are disrespectful, or they hurt others, boys will not just be boys; they will be held responsible for their actions.